The End is Near

Just over a week and then I'll be done for the semester!
Well except for work... And my cousins are invading my house for 2 weeks...
But I'll be done essays for a couple of weeks (although I may try to get a head start on my research paper for my Chaucer class which is due early January).

Busybusybusy.
I need to finish my Christmas shopping still.
How are y'all?

Homework

I'm starting to be able to see the end of semester.
I only have 3 more papers left and 1 exam.

There is still a tremendous amount of stress though, and lots of reading that needs to be done, and I feel like I'm far behind on my Christmas preparation.

I haven't started my annual Christmas reading, or really watching of my favourite Christmas movies. Very little decorating or present shopping has been done, and I would much rather focus on these rather than my pesky HBC paper.
Cannibalism just really isn't that fun of a topic to write about.

One day I'll post on here and it won't be me just complaining.

Herp Derp

That is all.

Happy Halloween

Halloween happens to be my second favourite holiday of the year (after Christmas -duh), but sadly I don't really get to celebrate it this year.

Toothless from
How To Train Your Dragon

In past years I've held a Halloween party at my house for friends to com over and eat yummy treats and watch a Halloween themed movie, and just enjoy eachothers' company. However this year, I'm working on actual Halloween, and then between work, school, and Peter being home (yay) for a few days, a party just wasn't going to happen this year.

Zero from
Nightmare Before Christmas

So I didn't go out and buy a costume this year, which is a little sad since I LOVE costume shopping. I was feeling a little bummed about my lack of Halloweeniness this year, but last night I carved a couple of pumpkins, and it made me feel a little bit more Halloweeny.

I carved a real pumpkin and a fake pumpkin. I'm actually slightly allergic to pumpkin, and touching raw pumpkin for a prolonged amount of time can lead to a painful burning feeling on my hands, so my Mom lovingly hallowed out my pumpkin for me. I'm wearing my Halloween socks, and I'll change into an old costume before heading to work, so Halloween is still slightly alive. Hooray! Maybe after work if I'm not too tired, I'll watch Nightmare Before Christmas or some other Tim Burton movie -I've never seen Frankenweenie, so maybe that (maybe I shouldn't since I have work early the next morning, but psshhh, sleep is for the dead).

Jack Skellington from
Nightmare Before Christmas

I kind of miss Halloween when we were kids and how your costume was a super big deal, and you'd have a Halloween party at school, and do Halloween themed things for weeks before Halloween actually came. I suppose one Halloween themed thing I've done this month is turn my house into a haunted house complete with Zombies and a Ghost (my dad was walking around the house moaning like a ghost for weeks -it was really annoying).

Anyway, I'm not really sure what else to say, this entire post feels far less coherent than one of my normal posts, I mean, I don't normally have a proper narrative in my posts, but this can't even be described as following a train of thought, it's just sort of madness, so HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Also, it's only 55 more days until Christmas! (I don't have a problem, I swear).

Sick Days

So I've been sick for nearly two weeks now, and it's getting ridiculous.

I was bedridden for an entire week because I had super high fevers. I got sick on a Wednesday night just before I had work. I went to work and was super miserable the entire time, and when I got home discovered I had a fever. After being sick for a few days and the fevers not letting up, I was taken to the doctor to see what was going on.
The doctor thought I had either strep throat or mono (apparently the symptoms are super similar) so I got to do a bunch of tests including a blood test (I hate needles) to check for that. I was then given antibiotics and sent on my merry way.
I then proceeded to miss three days of work. Where I work being sick is both a big deal and not a big deal. When you're sick, you don't have to do silly things like bring in doctor's notes, because they trust that you actually are sick, but there is a high amount of pressure to try and find someone to replace you, which when you're sick, is one of the last things you want to do, and when you work at a place that is super short staffed at the present time (like I do) can be dare near impossible. The first two shifts that I called in, I wasn't able to find someone to cover me, so I'm assuming they just worked short staffed that day, and I felt super bad, but there was nothing I could do about it.
The last shift that I called in for, I found someone to cover my shift after calling literally everyone I possibly could have, and someone finally willing to take my shift. I almost started crying I was so grateful that I wouldn't have to call in the next day and say sorry but I can't help you out.

After I had been on the antibiotics and it now being a week since I originally got sick, I went back to the doctor. The doctor then decided that I didn't have strep throat or mono but bronchitis. I was given a new set of  antibiotics. I then proceeded to go to work that evening, and was completely exhausted when I got home.
I get off work usually at 10pm (sometimes 11pm on Friday or Saturday nights if I'm unfortunate enough to get stuck with such a shift).
Usually when I get home I relax for an hour, watch some TV, read a little bit, maybe do some homework, and then go to bed. This particular night I took my medication and went straight to bed. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I was that tired.

I have since started to go to classes again and work fairly normally (I got sent home early on Friday because it was an insanely busy 8 hour shift, and I was pretty much dead at that point).
My current problem is that I'm not sick enough to justify staying home, but I'm still very sick. I'm coughing constantly, but the main issue is that I'm just so tired. I stagger from one place to another, pretty much barely making it until I can sit down, and struggle to stay semi-conscious is my classes.
Plus I have so much homework and stress to deal with now.
For the next month I have 2 assignments due each week, and I'm stressed out about these assignments, but I also am struggling to get them done because I get home from classes and all I can really do is proceed to take a 3 hour nap because my body is just drained.

This cold is seriously screwing me over. Why can't I live in a world where everything will actually wait until I'm fully better before I need to stress about getting it done?
Oh well, time to write an essay. Or take another nap. I'm tired.

Drowning

So I have a bajillion homework assignments. Normally I have a few essays here and there, and I'm able to keep up on my reading assignments until the last month of classes at which point I saw screw it and only do my written assignments. I don't even have time for my written assignments it seems!
Good grief.

Also work is crazy. We lost ANOTHER employee, and things are just pilling up. Literally. I come in to work and see that we have 2 full shelving carts worth of books that need to be shelved, and then there's piles and piles of shelving sitting on the receiving desk that we need to deal with also.
And there there's all the toys and clothing that need to be received. There are so many boxes that need to be put into the system that you can't move the shelving cart out of the back room, so it's difficult to do shelving, which is piling up and there's so much.
We have one of our old employees coming back upstairs (she was stolen by the downstairs people in August) but she isn't coming back until they've hired someone to replace her, and who knows when that will be.
And there are these swaddles that haven't been folded, and they're just sitting there, and each shift I've meant to fold them for about two weeks, but there's shelving, and schools, and receiving. WHAT ABOUT THE SWADDLES PEOPLE! WHO WILL THINK ABOUT THE SWADDLES!

I have a paper due on Monday about a book that I haven't read yet. So I need to magically instantly read a 200 page book so I can write the paper. But I have work tomorrow, and Sunday I'm teaching Sunday School (which I haven't even started to plan for yet), and then I have Quidditch (which I really want to go to because it's one of the few things that makes me happy lately), but I can't write my paper until I read the book, and I can't go to Quidditch unless I've read my paper, but I'm losing most of my Saturday because I'm at work all day, and then I need to plan Sunday School because I can't just show up and not have something to teach, because that would be terrible.

Ugh.

UGH.

UUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Do I even make sense anymore?

Tensions are Wearing Thin

If It Makes You Happy -It Can't Be That Bad

 My mom and I have been butting heads a fair bit the past few days, and she's starting to get on my last nerve.

On Tuesday I had my very first Quidditch game (yes, like Harry Potter, but without the flying bit). I was playing from 6:30-9:30. I live in a neighbourhood when buses are really stupid and infrequent, which makes getting around very frustrating. Now because I knew that I had Quidditch until 9:30, I knew that I would either have to wait until the 10:30 bus, or find another way home. I decided to find another way home and was planning on biking. However I realised I probably didn't want to bike home from an hour after running around for 3 hours playing Quidditch. So I made the decision to park my bike at the place where I would transfer buses and thus get to avoid waiting for the stupid bus that wouldn't come until 10:30. Brilliant, right?
Wrong.
All this managed to do when get my mom super pissed at me.
After Quidditch was over, my team mates decided we were going to go out for food. I was offered a ride home, and figured this would be a great opportunity to get to know my team better.
While I was in the restaurant I quickly texted my mom letting her know that I wouldn't be home immediately and not to worry.
She then proceeded to FLIP OUT, because she decided that I had lied to her and was going to die biking home.
I had texted her earlier in the day letting her know that I had decided to bus to the park for Quidditch (meaning that I was busing part of the way) so that I wouldn't be too tired. I had already explained to her that this was my Plan B, so when I executed Plan B, I figured she wouldn't need must prompting to understand what I meant. Apparently I was wrong.
My mom was livid and I spent the entire time at the restaurant fearing the wrath that would ensue when I returned home. (I was literally shaking out of fear).
It ended up being a non-issue, as my bike managed to fit into the car of the person who was giving me a ride, so I didn't need to bike home in the dark (even though I had a light and was going to be on a bike path essentially the entire time) but she was still upset with the stress I had put her through.

Then yesterday I was sitting around the house before I had to go off to work and was telling her about this amazing graphic novel series I had just finished.
It's called Amelia Rules, and you should totally check it out because it is AMAZING! It will make you laugh and cry and all the emotions.
But I digress. I was telling her about this series and how excited I was to have read it and how I was sad that there were no books in it, and my mom decided I was far too happy and she needed to burst my bubble.
"Why do you like stupid kids books so much?"
Is Amelia Rules a "kids book"? Yes. It is available in the children's section of the bookstore.
Does that mean that only kids can read it? Hell no!
I tried to explain to her why I enjoyed it, and she was having none of it. She had decided that I was being inappropriate for reading books that weren't for adults since I'm an adult.
I tried to explain to her why I prefer YA books to adult books. How I relate more to teenager protagonists than to middle aged ones, but she was still unimpressed.
I got defensive and upset (pretty much because she was telling me that one of the things that brings me the most joy in my life is wrong and I'm not allowed to like it).
My mom then decided that I was allowed to like kids books, but just not be inappropriately enthusiastic about it.
Oh gee, I'm too excited about something that genuinely makes me happy? Sorry, I'll be more apathetic, is that better?
I mean, who says things like that to their children? You like reading and it makes you happy, so I'm going to suck the fun out of it for you. MWAHAHAHAHA

It just makes me so angry. If reading picture books, or YA, or graphic novels, or whatever makes me genuinely happy and it isn't hurting anyone, WHY DOES SHE CARE?! Like seriously?
And it frustrates me to no end how when I get upset with her attacking something I love, or acting like an individual and she says things like "I hope one day you have kids just like you so you know what it's like".
Let's see, I'm independent, I work hard to achieve success in work and school, I help out around the house without having to be asked, I don't do drugs or join gangs or get knocked up or anything that would make me a typical "problem child".
I like to read and hang out with my friends to do nerdy things, yet apparently I'm a terrible person and clearly the spawn of the devil himself.
ARG.

Update of the Past Month

So I haven't posted in awhile, mostly because a lot of stuff has been happening. (Lots of sadness and stress unfortunately)

Last we spoke, my beloved dog, Shelby, had passed away.
A week later her brother, Joey, started to act in a similar manner and we had to put him down too.
It was so much all at once, and it was heart breaking.
I am no longer a pet owner, and have spent the vast majority of my life owning a pet of some sort or another. Tragic is really the only word that I can think that begins to describe this situation.

Recently I've been dealing with working a lot. Bleh. But I'm managing. I enjoy my job, which always helps.
June is always a crazy month for work because teachers come to finish off their budgets for the year all at once and you pretty much run around like a chicken with no head for a few weeks. Yikes!

Canada Day was excellent. I went to the living flag in the morning. It was quite wet and cold, but fun. Later the weather cleared up in time for the annual BBQ at my house. Then everyone headed to the park where we all ran around and played football and watched fireworks and it was super awesome!
It's like a combination of all my favourite things. Awesome friends, yummy food, running around having fun, and fire works!
(Plus it's one of the few stat holidays that the store I work at is actually closed.)

There hasn't been a lot of other super exciting things. I've hung out with friends, seen a few movies (Oh my goodness, How To Train Your Dragon 2 is amazing!), and yesterday I went to the Zoo.

I love the zoo, but I always feel conflicted about it. It's a lot of fun, and I really enjoy seeing all the amazing different animals, but I can't help but wonder if it is cruel to keep animals in captivity.
I know that a lot of animals are in zoos because either a) they were bred in captivity and were never actually wild animals, b) they are rehabilitating injured/ill animals with intention of reintroducing them to the wild at a future time, or c) the animal population is in jeopardy and they are part of a breeding program to sustain the population.
But sometimes the enclosures seem so small, and the animals so bored, and I can't help but wonder if even the help that zoos do, is perhaps not worth it, or not fair to the animals.

Also, one of my favourite parts of the Winnipeg Zoo is actually the butterfly garden. It's just this giant screened garden area where there are butterflies everywhere. It is one of the most peaceful areas I can think of I just love being in there. I actually wish it wasn't part of the zoo, and was just a part of the park that the zoo is located in because I would love to just relax inside the garden all the time. Imagine waking up and walking to the park to go sit in a beautiful garden and have butterflies all around you as you sip your morning coffee and enjoy whatever novel you're currently reading (which happens to be The Little Prince for me right now -such a delightful little read that I can't believe I'd put off for so long). Sadly it is part of the zoo, and paying $20 admission is a little steep if you only want to sit and read for an hour or so. Maybe one day I'll do this though, just because it seems like such a peaceful idea. But yeah, pretty butterflies and flowers, and it's just so beautiful. I was taking a bunch of pictures at the zoo, and I have a few of most of the animals, a lot of pictures of the red panda (so cute), and then a bajillion of different butterflies.

Also, I've been revamping my tumblr, and intend to actually start using it (for more than just spamming your dash with Nigel Thornberry faceswaps -although I'm not saying goodbye to Nigel all together, how could someone do that?).
It's a bit of a complicated reason as to why I want to start using Tumblr more, mostly revolving around growing tired of the communities on other websites I frequent, but I'll explain it at a later time perhaps.
If you want to check it out, and maybe follow me, you can so so here, or you know, whatever.

She's gone

A Hectic Month

As you may have guessed it, it's been a kind of a crazy month since University ended for the summer.

I'm still working at a bookstore part time. My hours have increased for the summer due to full time staff taking vacations, and one of our full time staff members leaving.

It's a busy time of year because a large portion of our customers are teachers buying books for their classrooms. It's the end of budget years and teachers have become frantic and in many situations very demanding.

My dogs' health has also plummeted very suddenly. Both Joey and Shelby have become very fussy eaters and their diet has been changed multiple times in the past couple of weeks out of desperation to get them to eat anything at all. My baby girl, Shelby, is now at the point where she refuses to eat pretty much anything at all -even banana, her favourite food.

Shelby is a miracle at this point. Over a year ago we were told by the vet that she would likely not live longer than 2 months. Now 14 months later she is still with us, and up until a week ago, was as strong as ever.

But knowing that I got an entire year with her that I wasn't supposed to, knowing that she was a fighter for so long, knowing that death is inevitable doesn't make the thought of losing her any easier.

School has already started to stress me out as well. I am scheduled to graduate next year, which puts pressure on to figure out what I'm doing with my life. Do I pursue Education like I always assumed? Do I go in a different direction because of my anxiety associated with becoming a teacher? If I do decide to become a teacher, am I going to be able to find a job, or are my major and minor going to make me unemployable? I'm very nervous and I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing at this point. The stress associated with this is only magnified by the fact that I'm supposed to have selected and met with an adviser to have my courses approved for next year already. It's barely June!

But like many things, there's nothing I can really do but continue to push through and deal with all the scary stuff one day at a time.

"Unisex"

Recently an online store that sells a variety of t-shirts from different YouTubers and other internet things decided to discontinue the "ladies cut" for the shirt and make only available what they call "unisex".

I'm not happy that they made this move, as I strongly dislike the shape of unisex clothing because I think it is super unflattering, but I also just have an issue with the name "unisex" in general.

When a company calls their clothing "unisex", what they are really saying is "hey, so we decided that we're only going to stock clothing for males, but we will call it "unisex" so we don't come across as sexist".

Unisex clothing is problematic because it takes an already flawed dichotomy of gender and tries to simplify it even further. We need to account for more genders, not fewer.

I also really dislike unisex clothing because it rarely fits nicely.

Most women will have curves, yet unisex clothing is cut in a way that assumes people are shaped like boxes.

It is clothing made to fit men, and when a company refuses to sell an alternative option it is essentially saying that women aren't as important, and if they want to be considered important they should try and appear more masculine.

Another thing that is very unusual about this shift is the fact that this site sells shirts for a large variety of different YouTubers, many of which are women, have women themed content, and are marketed towards women -but now you can only buy their shirts in unisex cut. How does that make sense?

Perhaps I'm being too dramatic about this. Perhaps I'm making this into a far bigger deal that it actually is. Perhaps there is a perfectly legitimate reason as to why the ladies cut was discontinued. But I'm irritated because I would like to have the option. Finding clothing that fits can be a struggle for a lot of women and not giving them more options certainly isn't helping.

Perhaps I should finish my homework... 

Stress Fest

Welp, it's that time of year again, and while I have fewer papers and they're better spaced out than last year, I'm actually panicking more.

Also, I've started to clench and grind my teeth while I'm awake because of the stress and can only stop when I become actively aware of it (you are now breathing manually). Plus the stress has decided to manifest in other aches and pains, like chest pains.
University stress is going to kill me, isn't it?

I'm also super pumped because I have FIVE exams this year (that's never happened to me before) so the stress won't end until April 24. Then I will collapse in a coma for the next 4 months.

Whenever I get super stressed like this I wonder why I put my body through this agony. You're supposed to take care of your body. Do things like eat right, exercise, and avoid stress, but when it comes close to essay deadlines, I spend entire weekends sitting on a couch, stuffing my face with junk food to keep myself sane, and stress myself out. Maybe it's my habits, maybe it's the stress of university, but I feel like every essay shaves off a year of my life, and I wonder if it's really worth it.
Am I being overly negative?

Ah well, time to stay up too late and work on a paper. Wish me luck, and may the markers be ever in your favour.

Gee, Mom, I want to go home

This is a parody I jut wrote of a song used in the military during WWII -that I randomly sang in choir in grade 4 (my school was weird...)
It accurately reflects my current state of mind where I feel that university is occasionally a battle field and looming due dates become the enemy.

They say that in University, courses are mighty fine,

But I'm stressed out beyond repair, I just need to unwind

Oh I don't want no more of Student life
Gee, Mom, Why'd I apply

To somewhere that makes me cry

Gee, Mom I want to go home

They say that in University, the readings are so fun,

But I haven't even had time, to do a single one

Oh I don't want no more of Student life
Gee, Mom, Why'd I apply

To somewhere that makes me cry

Gee, Mom I want to go home

They say that in University, the essays aren't so hard

Everything seems fine till you get your report card

Oh I don't want no more of Student life
Gee, Mom, Why'd I apply

To somewhere that makes me cry

Gee, Mom I want to go home

They say that in University, the social life is swell

But I can barely do homework and get some sleep as well

Oh I don't want no more of Student life
Gee, Mom, Why'd I apply

To somewhere that makes me cry

Gee, Mom I want to go home

They say that University, will help you get a job

But prolonged unemployment, I feel like I've been robed

Oh I don't want no more of Student life
Gee, Mom, Why'd I apply

To somewhere that makes me cry

Gee, Mom I want to go home

The Rise and Fall of Pegvlog

This is a response to a friend's post that can be read here. Riccy covered a number of reasons as to why PegVlog stopped being an active channel, and most of them are quite valid, but I feel that he missed a number that I will address here.

I used to be part of a vlogging channel on YouTube called PegVlog. It was a collaborative channel of a bunch of High School friends trying to stay in contact with one another after graduation.
What started off as a fun and creative project slowly started to fall apart before our eyes.

Issues from Conception
PegVlog was almost set up for fail from the very beginning of it's creation. They first video that was posted on the channel announced how the channel would run and was filmed at a party.
The issue was a portion of the group had been aware of the project for months and been planning it. When it started to be created a few more people wanted to take part immediately. This led to a lack of communication about what the expectations associated with the channel would be. By the time we were uploading our vlogs people felt too awkward to tell people what they were actually supposed to be doing.

The Leaving of the First Member
Initially everyone was quite consistent with uploading. They were on time and regular. Where they great? Nope, not even close. But they were what the project was asking for.
However early on one member realized that between school and work the requirements were overwhelming and she decided after some discussion that she would leave the project.
This became an issue because after suggesting that she leave due to failure to upload on time, it put pressure for these rules to be enforced even more so.

Antagonizing a Member
I'm not going to pretend it wasn't me. I became the "Nazi" of the group because I felt that the only real rule we had for the project was important to enforce. I became the unofficial PegVlog "leader" and people started to resent me for my policing of uploads.
Uploads became infrequent by certain members and I felt the need to upload our promise of weekly content.
It became clear that I viewed PegVlog as much more of a commitment than others did.

I had never wanted to be the "leader" (I say "leader" because I had no real control and my pressuring for uploads rarely proved fruitful) but I seemingly became one, which resulted in me having duties that I had no desire to fulfill (i.e. telling someone who wanted to join PegVlog that they were not a logical member since they didn't know half the group).

Vlogging Development 
Just like everything in life, when you get a group of people to start something new they will all develop at different rates. Some of our group proved to be quite competent vloggers where as others struggled to advance from early videos. This led to an imbalance in the group and the desire for people to pursue channels and upload content outside of PegVlog.
I know I personally had planned my leaving of PegVlog from about Halloween of second year, deciding to switch to my personal channel in the coming new year.

I don't think PegVlog was a failure. There was a lot to learn from the project as a whole and it proved to be a lot of fun (or at least I thought it was). It also allowed me to discover my love of vlogging (I really miss it and keep intending to upload videos, but I always end up putting it off).
There were many reasons why PegVlog died, and these are only a few of the ones I find the most important causes. There was also a great deal of unrealistic expectations associated with viewership and fellow PegVloggers occasionally turning against each other based on uploaded content.

In short, PegVlog was a thing, and now it's not, but it was fun while it lasted.

Go watch this video, kthxbye

Infinity and Oblivion: A Dichotomy Diverging Into One

Prepare yourself. I'm about to go all rambley, philosophically, existential on you.

The other day I was rather cynical as I sat at work fuming about how it was open mic night (again) and how it was filled with mediocre at best -and usually much much worse, singers.
One that that for whatever reason I found particularly annoying that evening was how seriously these different musicians took themselves.
The requirement to perform was that the songs had to be original, so covers weren't allowed, and for whatever reason this would prompt long intros to each song about the "inspiration" behind the song. And I was sitting at my desk working and thinking, no one cares!
I mean, in a different environment, sure, someone may care, but at open mic night? Nope.
The audience at open mic night isn't so much an audience as much as a bunch of musicians all waiting impatiently for their turn to perform. They don't care about what the people performing before them are doing, much less a five minute speech about their creative process.
These people come to open mic night, are the self inflicted captive audience all waiting for their turn to sing into a void of nothingness with the belief that they're important and that people actually care.

Am I being too negative? Probably, but I was grumpy from having to listen to some guy sing that literally sounded like a cat protesting to being given a bath -no jokes.

I was thinking of this nothingless void, of where things and energy goes when no one is there to appreciate it. Of oblivion.
This led me to think of the opposite of oblivion, of infinity, and specifically how the two relate with life.

The idea of oblivion terrifies me, that after death there is nothing, I don't like that idea, I don't personally accept that idea, but it's one of those ideas that creeps into your head in the middle of the night.

I then started to think about immortality, which reminded me of this short story I read in high school.
What if we were all immortal, if everyone had all the time in the world to do everything.
The story suggested that there would be two groups of people in the world:

1. The group that wants to do everything and since you have all the time in the world, you do everything.
2. The group that does nothing, because if you have all the time in the world you can always do it later.

I thought about this story a lot, and it started to scare me. What group would I be in? There is so many things I want to do in life, and I do always fear that I won't be able to do everything. I want to travel the world, learn to dance, do a martial art, learn new languages, be a published writer, climb a mountain, and the list goes on.
But I think about how what often pushes me to do some of these things, is knowing that I may not get another chance to do it again. That splurging on experiences often stems from the fear of it being a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But if nothing is a once in a lifetime opportunity there isn't the pressure to do things, there isn't that driving force that keeps people going. Would I be able to self motivate myself with that? I struggle to self motivate enough as it stands sometimes.
Would I be part of the lazy group that does nothing because you can always do it later?
I don't want to be, but would I?

Two things:

Infinity and oblivion.

So drastically different- 

They are the opposite. 

And yet, 

They come together while moving

Apart as they are alike.

A distopic reality of nothing.

Frustrated

I'm frustrated with myself.
I want to do things that I enjoy, but when I get the chance to do them, I don't.
What's wrong with me?
Kthxbye

Ashley and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Today hasn't been a good day, in fact it's been a pretty crappy day. There was nothing huge that made it bad, no catastrophe.
But just like it can be the little things that make you happiest, today has been a collection of little bad things that have just conglomerated to make this a pretty shitty day.

This post will be a self-serving one. I need to get this stuff off my chest, lest I break down.

I awoke this morning feeling exceedingly tired. I had had a long night the previous day filled with an emotional discussion. The details are irrelevant for the purpose of this post, but I had been crying and so now my eyes were dry and itchy.
I am also still in the process of recovering from the flu that I had over the weekend. This made it so I got almost no homework done over those few days because I was too busy being sick.
I have forgotten to put in my bite plate as well, so my jaw hurt (side note: I clench my jaw in my sleep, and even when I remember to wear the bite plate, but jaw is usually in pain -fun stuff, right?)
I had an 8:30 class, a history class, a history class that I hate. (A stupid amount of readings, bizarre assignments, a pretentious prof, the perfect recipe for an unjoyable class).
I had overslept so I didn't have time to eat breakfast.
My carpool came late.
I was now late for class -only by a few minutes, but my prof is extremely strict about being late.
It was freezing cold outside, so I had to run through the tunnels of the University, which wrap around in a giant U shape. I started in one end and had to make it to the other -moving quickly was important, but my feet hurt from constantly wearing winter boots.
I got through my dreadful class and am off to my American Literature class, one of my favourite classes with one of classes. Things are looking up. Or so you'd think.
I get to class and realise I had done the wrong reading assignment (great), now I'm lost and trying to muddle my way through Emerson, something that I would have struggled with even if I had done the readings.
I'm now done classes for the day and can head home, it's 11:15, my bus comes at 11:50.
I kill time by doing some of my reading assignments for my history class (I feel extremely far behind in these because they're so complicated I can hardly understand them even after reading them multiple times. This is a first year class, there is probably an issue when a third year honours English student can't understand your reading assignments, but I digress).
I head out for my bus about 5 minutes before it is supposed to show up.
The second I step outside I see a bus pulling away. I can only assume it is my bus at this point because my bus never came.
I am now forced to wait an additional half-hour to take a bus and get home. Keep in mind that I haven't eaten anything yet today.
I get home and have lunch and take a quick nap so I'll be awake enough to do my homework (did I mention I have a paper due in my history class on Thursday that was assigned last week?)
Suddenly I get a phone class from work. Turns out I was supposed to work today but it wasn't clearly marked on my schedule.
I was now late for a shift I didn't know I had, my entire evening is now gone and I don't have time to work on my homework, and this was the one night that I had to get homework done because I worked last night and I work tomorrow.

That is my very long list of little things that have shaped up to make this a truly un-fun day.