Homesick

I am homesick, but not for a place. I am homesick for an idea, for a "what if".
I am mourning the loss of a path I did not take, despite the fact that I think I took the correct path.

I have spent the past four years of my life working towards attaining an English degree with the intention of pursuing education.
Throughout that four years I questioned my decision to go in to Education after I graduated. I wondered if that was the correct decision.
I contemplated other pursuits. A master's degree? Going in to publishing? Journalism?
I ended up choosing Education like I originally planned, but since classes have started up I feel homesick for my old degree.

I miss the buildings that I had my classes in.
I miss the locker I had for 3 years.
I miss getting starbucks every Friday morning before my 8:30 class.

These are weird things to miss.

I'm finding Education less stressful that English was, at least so far.
I have fewer assignments that I did before.
I haven't had to pull any all nighters yet.

I miss writing papers.
I miss MLA format.
I miss sitting on the floor of the library at lunch.

Did I make the wrong decision by choosing Education?
Did I choose Education because it was what seemed easy and safe and logical?

Or is this just a case of viewing the past with rose coloured glasses?
That your memory erases the frustration and annoyance when you reminisce.
The power of nostalgia overwhelming me.

I don't even know anymore.
I ate my lunch on the floor of the library today.