A Year of British Columbia

It's hard to believe that I have been living in British Columbia for about a year now. I thought I would take a few moments to reflect on the past year as well as give a bit of an update of what I'm doing and just kind of mind dump some of the thoughts and emotions that have been swirling around inside me.

Vancouver

Almost exactly a year ago I was posting about how scared I was to be living in downtown Vancouver. I was scared about living on the Downtown East side and how radically different it was from where I grew up. I was being confronted by poverty in a way that I never had before and wasn't sure how to deal with it. I had a roommate who was incredibly messy, had no desire to get to know me, and generally annoyed me to no end. The building was a mess, despite being brand new and I was constantly having to contact the residence maintenance; my shower was broken and then my heat was broken and then the sink in the kitchen was broken and then the hot water was broken. Despite all of the issues with my residence apartment I was able to make it feel like home. I decorated it with a rainbow of cranes and I enjoyed sitting by the window with my coffee in the morning watching people in the park below.

My classes were hard but interesting. I felt completely overwhelmed when we first started and was convinced that I was not as smart as my classmates and that I wasn't deserving of being in the program. When I was working on my education degree I was sometimes overworked but I never felt like I couldn't accomplish what was expected of me. With this program I felt like I was playing catch up to meet the minimum standards of the program and that if the professors discovered how far behind I was I would be kicked out. However as we started to get involved in the projects I started to realize that I wasn't an impostor and that I was capable of doing what was asked of me. Not only was I able to complete projects, I was able to do them well and be proud of what I created. I made book trailers for fictional books during our book project (a class where we simulated creating an imprint and publishing 4 new titles) and building a magazine company that focused on arts and crafts as a form of meditation. I left feeling like I learned a lot.

I think one of the hardest things that I dealt with while in Vancouver was feeling lonely. I had started to make friends fairly quickly and I consider some of the people I met while in Vancouver to be very good friends, but at nights the feeling of isolation could sometimes be overwhelming. The feeling of homesickness never truly went away.

Victoria

I haven't actually mentioned on the blog that I am currently living in Victoria. It's been nearly 5 months since I first arrived. Once classes were done I was required to do a professional placement at a publishing (or publishing related) company and in the fall write a project report (like a thesis) about my experiences. I was able to find a paid internship with a publishing company in Victoria, so I packed up my stuff, and headed to the island. I have been involved with a couple of big projects at the company and generally enjoy what I have been doing. The island is beautiful and full of nature. I went whale watching in July and saw a humpback whale breaching! Victoria also has so many amazing locally owned restaurants and coffee shops, so I am never at a loss for yummy food.

My internship officially ended a couple of weeks ago and I have been hired on at the company as a full time permanent employee. Choosing to stay in Victoria was not an easy decision. I truly do enjoy my job but there are many factors that make living on the West Coast very difficult, mainly that the homesickness and isolation I felt in Vancouver seems to have become worse. Instead of getting easier with time I have found that the longer I am away from home and my family the more difficult it becomes. I've been struggling with this because there are not many career opportunities in publishing back home. That's not to say that there are none, but I am worried that in order to live in the city I love with the people I care about, I won't be able to work in the industry I love. For now I am staying in Victoria to work and build up work experience. I'm not sure how long I will stay here or what my next steps will be. I'm honestly just confused and don't know what I want. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon, or come to terms with not always having everything planned out all the time.